Because i really dont know

well hello everybody. March is upon us in fine style here in sweden, the past few days have been sunny and in the 40´s and we can even see patches of ground! very exciting i know. Well two weeks ago we had break and my girlfriend kristen came to visit me! It was really nice to see her again and have her meet the friends ive made here, it was a good time. We went to stockholm the weekend before last, it was really nice to be in actualy city again with things open past 8 hahaha. We just kinda walk around and enjoyed ourselves. I drove kristen to the airport early monday morning, i was rather heart broken to see her go but i know i will see her again in 4 months or so. But its also made me miss home and make me look at what we are doing here. The past few days ive felt rather put off. I guess i feel like i should be doing more here, i read other blog posts from the other groups and they all seem to be doing alot all the time. We just are shifted from class to class and for the most part i feel like we are more of a fill in. After school we just go home, we dont have a youth center to help out with or touter anyone we have to keep ourselves occupied. This all perspective and i may just be alittle homesick since kristen left but i just am going to look around here for something more i can do.
-Samuel j Miller

its been awhile....

I always am unsure of what to say on these things so i do apologize once again for my lack of writing. Anyway alot has happened since my last post. We had jokkmokks market which was really cool to see all the handicraft stuff people had and all the cool sami outfits but having so many people in this town and to have alot of noise was like living in chicago again kinda so im happy to have it quiet again. I actualy just got back from english camp with the ninth graders last night. the first group was great, they praticipated and had fun and tried really hard to speak english. The second group was a bit more of a hassel. But i actualy feel alot of empathy with these kids, they seem to get no encouragement and feel ignored so they act out. I often catch glimpses into my friends lives here and often i m sadden by their sitiuation and amazed by their strength to endure and be good people. I dont think the so called trouble makers are bad kids i just dont think they really know how to get attention in a positive way. One of the kids who the teachers had worried about because he tends to be a trouble maker and doesnt speak alot of english was in my cabin, and before he left i told him i was proud of him cause i thought he did try his hardest to speak english and thanked him because he didnt give me any trouble. I wish i could describe the feeling we shared at that moment but i think we both felt respect for each other and gratitude. Even though it was slightly trying i felt my self stretched but i didnt break under aggravation. I feel like that was a moment that showed i have truly grown in some way.
may god be with you till we meet again,
Samuel J. Miller

May god be with you till we meet again...

my apoligizes for not writing for awhile but in all truth i didnt know what to write till now. Theres a song that sticks out in my mind and as i listen to it now it moves me in a great way. Christmas in the trenches by john mccutcheon, about on one christmas day in world war one when the germans and the british soliders spent one day in peace and harmony leaving there trenches and spent time as friends. So many times we all have been angry at one person or another, or judged someone for what they wear or what they say. But we may we never forget that we are people at the core. We all have seen moments of human kindness between two different types of people who dont get along. These are the things of people that show me the beauty god bestowed on people. Tonight we went to the old church for prayer service and two elderly ladies walked up to the front to light candles. They kissed each other on the cheeck and talked as they lit the candles at there own pace simply happy to see each other and to be together. As i sat in wondering fondness i could feel god in that place, like he sat next to me and watched with watery eyes as well, at the love by these two women in fellowship. I recall a lady at church telling of a birthday party for a women who had turned 90 and as she was hugging her friend good bye the women said this is what i think heaven will look like, surrounded by those i love. Compassion shines bright in everyone of every religion but if we dont take time to look we ll never see it. And i pray that we all remember that when we are angery or upset. May god bless you and keep you, may his face shine apon you and be gracious to you. The lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.Amen.
-Samuel Jacob Miller

My hope is built on nothingless

Well god jul, merry christmas, feliz navidad or however you say it wherever you are. Yesterday we went to a meal setup by the church for poeple who dont have family are alone on christmas. It was really nice, they had alot of good food and after we ate and sat around and talked we sang and danced around the tree ( alot of fun!). Then before we left came santa! with a raindeer! who left us a messy present on the floor hahaha! so that was pretty interesting. Then after that we went to a friends house whos family had invited us over cause they knew we were alone. It was one of the most touching things some has done for me. They truly treated us like family. For some reason i can never sleep on christmas night so i slept for about an hour then i woke up. I made a fire and just sat and relaxed then tried to go back to sleep. This morning we opened presents around eight. Well i pray that god will give me courage to carry on. OH! merry christmas lewie and family! im so happy you found my blog!
well god bless,
-Samuel J. Miller

Im your man

So here i am, again, writing, again. Well we are now on our christmas break. I never thought i would say the word christmas and hold back a tear but its true. Being away from home sucks, im not going to sugar coat it, it just does but we get by i guess. I think cabin fever has become a concern for the team. You know there are some days where i wake up look in the mirror and ask myself why in the hell did i do this then i cant help but laugh because how insane am i to take a year outa my life to go to some place i ve never been before and do something i have no experiance in but i guess that fits me the more i think about it. I never really knew what the heck i was doing half the time i was back home. i guess i just like a good adventure and this is falls under that category. I dont know what to write here but for those who read my blog back home and dont comment on here it would be nice to get emails or something. Jer. 29:11 "for i know the plans i have for you ´declares the lord´ plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans for a hope and futuré".
In patience,
-Samuel J. Miller

On the 309

Well it has been a very interesting week to say the least. We went raindear seperating, raindear are not that big but they dont like to be grabbed by the antlers and they put up a heck of a good fight when you do. But how many people in there life time can say they helped seperate raindear in the artic circle? and in - 16 degree weather i might add. Everyone was just so happy and relaxed. everyone seemed to know each other and had no problem with including us, i found it rather touching. So that was wed. i spent the next day in band practice till friday in the morning we actually had the dance. it was alot of fun, the rules are if someone asks you to dance you cant say no and you have to dance for the entire song. It was really funny to watch the teachers grabbed the really shy boys in the back and dance but everyone really seemed to enjoy themselves, it was a day well spent. Then the day started to go down hill fast. We opened grottan and we didnt think really anyone would come because the 9th graders were doing the lucia show agian that night from 8 to 9 and at first i was right till they started pouring in. We were packed in there and kids just reeked of alchohol. After a while i poked my head into the back room to check in and make sure everything was ok and the minute i opened the door the rushing smell of beer hit me in the face. I walked in and one of the kids playing pool who we know from östra walks over and says sam! try swedish beer. at this point im and truly pissed off. I take it when he hands it to me and i tell him that he cant drink at grottan and i walked to the back door and procceded to poor the dang stuff out. when i got back in i found alyssa trying to get a kid out who was so drunk he couldnt stand nor really speak and the kid i took the beer from was fighting with another kid. So i ran and got Elis (AKA the swedish hulk) and he grabbed them and pulled them all outside. Well the one kid wasnt happy about that and while going up the stairs out side he kicks a window and breaks it. Some other people walked the group home and i was happy to be rid of them. It was a rather depressing end to a depressing day. Saturday morning i went lifting with my friends markus and richard then we stopped at the bakery\ coffee shop in town and just talked. it was one of the most content feelings i ve had since i been here. just hanging out with friends talking and eating. Just relaxing and having fun. Well im tired of writing and this is really long so for those who read this stay safe and your always in my prayers.
Sincerly,
-Samuel J. Miller

All things bright and beautiful

With our amount of sunlight becoming less and less i find it takes an emotional blow. Not really in a negative way but more it moves in more highs and lows then usual. I more then ever find myself driffting off into memories that i havent thought about since they themselves occured. They tend to flood my mind and stop me dead until afterwards waking from my day dream to find i had spaced out. I recall waking up early with my dad to go roofing, or the bird cage they had in the nursing home my grandma miller was in. They come back to me in bright, beautiful color that even now brings me close to tears not out of sorrow but of joy of rememberance of days gone by. It is evident to me now that my family and friends forever live in the deepest parts of my heart, and that shall never be changed. After this journey is over ill get down on my knees and thank god for the adventure.
Sincerly,
Samuel j. Miller